Holiday Season Is Upon Us!
I wanted to start out by saying how sorry I am for not posting anything in such a long time.
I have gotten a job working customer service at Shutterfly and we are currently working six days a week with 12+ hours shifts. I just have not had much time to do much more that work and sleep. I feel like I have missed so much lately. I have also started volunteering with a great organization for Veterans and Active Duty Military and currently hold a position on the National Level so any spare time I have is working of stuff with that as well.
I have final exams starting this week so once I am done with those hopefully I will have a little time to breath.
Now with all that being said…
Yes, the Holiday Season is upon us and for some reason this year I am just not feeling it. I am just ‘over’ it all and really don’t want anything to do with it. This is usually my favorite time of the year but for some strange reason this year I am just wanting to hide out in my room till it is all over with. I think it is because I set so many goals for myself to accomplish this year and the only one I really accomplished was getting a job and I am not even sure if that is going to still be there after Christmas. I wanted to move into my own place, get back into the dating world, and so many others, but I feel like I just have not accomplish anything. I have been so wrapped up in other things that I feel like I have forgotten so many others (if that makes sense, it makes sense in my head.)
I just keep thinking and telling myself that Shutterfly is going to keep me even after the Holidays and that next year will be MY YEAR, but then I am reminded that I told myself the same thing about 2014. Sorry to sound like such a damn downer. I’m just needing to vent for a bit and then I will be back to my normal smart ass self. I think it is due to lack of sleep and going nonstop for so damn long now that my body, soul, and mind are just getting worn the fuck out.
December 1st was World’s AIDS Day as we all know and I did not even remember till the day was almost over with. I had so many ideas and things I wanted to do for it and I didn’t do a damn thing except work.
Medically, I have been doing great. Still responding well to my medications and still have an undetectable viral load, which I am thankful for. I actually had labs drawn on December 1st. I will get the results from those labs when I go see my ID doc in early January. I am just hoping that I don’t have to go any other “treatments” while I am there for that visit. I am tired of every time I go see him that they need more biopsies or to remove more tissue. If you don’t know what I am talking about please refer to some of my past post explaining whats been going on.
Same day I had labs drawn, I also had to see my Mental Health Provider at the VA. She warned me that I was trying to do too much and that it might not be the best thing for me, but I have set around doing nothing for too damn long. I guess when I get started on something I just dive in full force. She really cautioned me to try and get some time to myself. I think I might take her up on that after the New Year. I think I am going to pack my camping gear up and go hide out in the woods for a week or so just by myself. Some time to reflect and think about what the future means to me and what I want.
Sorry if this sounds like a bunch of rambling, it pretty much is.
I promise I will try to think of something good to write a blog post about soon. If there is something y’all want me to discuss please leave a comment on here or on the Facebook page and let me know.